Booze Foods


Brayton simply cannot get enough alcohol. He is annoyed that after an evening of heavy drinking, one always wants to eat food. He wonders what would happen if you could eat and drink at the same time.

Product Summary

You remember the Consumable Scientists of the Food Experimentation Laboratory of Tangentially United Products (FELTUP) from their previous invention: BevChips, the chips with beverages in them. Now they bring you food, with booze in it. So you can eat while you get wasted!

Here's a list of just some of the amazing alcohombinations available:

Like a combination of a "Beerbrat" (bratwurst cooked in beer that doesn't make you drunk) and famous 90's candy: Gushers, except these gushers are made of meat and full of booze.
Mozzarella Stix-Pack
Comes with Beerinara Sauce!
If you are a Southern Belle and a Kentucky Senator at the same time.
Frosted Ginny Wheats
Add milk for Vitamin D, already has all your Vitamin Gin, and the third part of that thing is Wheat!
Pabsts in a Blanket
Samosa Samosas
What if one of those was the Indian food, and the other one was Gary mispronouncing "Mimosa?"
Olde English Breakfast
Olde English brand malt beverage poured over ham and eggs. Another breakfast option.
Bloody Maraschino Cherries
No explanation given, but likely a hybrid of the Bloody Mary Cocktail and the neon candyfruit Maraschino Cherry.
Chardonnagles and Cream Cheese
Presumably a fusion of Chardonnay (a white wine) and bagles with (possibly Irish?) cream cheese.
General Tsao's Crunk Juice
A beverage, which technically makes it a food-booze. It likely combines General Tsao's Chicken and something called "Crunk Juice."
Oatmeal Stout or Stout Oatmeal
Either/Or is fine.
A little different from a Tequila Quesadilla.
Coors d'Oeuvres
Comes in shots (likely also a food-booze), possibly similar to Advocaat or Eierlikör.
India Pale Kale
Double Cheese Bourbon
Kaluah Pork
Tequila Quesadilla
A little different from a Sakesadilla.
He Brewed National Hotdog
Hotdog 20/20
No idea.
Ricotta Colada
Beer and Cheese Soup
Irish Carb Bombs
Ants on a Lager
Pinot Greasy-o Pizza
Personal Panhatten Pizza
Margarita Pizza
Margarita in the other way.
Beef Strogsmirnoff
Amaretto Risotto
Jim Beam of Mushroom Soup
Mimosastroni Soup
Probably made with Столичная brand vodka.
Ice Creme de Menthe
Bananas Fosters
Australian for Bananas.
Harvey Wallbangers and Mash
Hamm's Helper
Sherry Pie
Bombay Saffron
Likely made with premium gin Bombay Sapphire and saffron, the King of Spices.
Corona Bologna Sandwich
Glenliver and Onions
Friskies and Coke
For Gary's cat who is "freaking out." He usually takes his Friskies on the rocks but it's pretty early. Made with Coke Fuck You.
Vodka Au Graten

Plot Elements

  • Gary was, at the time of this episode's recording, illiterate. He would later go back in time and teach himself how to have always been able to read.
  • Brayton is a recovering alcoholic who drinks alcohol.
  • Gary has an uncle who ruined his life by hiding alcohol in the toilet. His children (Gary's cousins) no longer talk to this uncle.
  • Brayton has a wife in this episode.
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