Faceball 2000

Created by Xanth Software F/X, played on SNES

Abject Suffering Episode 128 (2/15/2016)

Recommended by Holland Hume


Kole invites Gary into his den to show something to him. They hate badgers. Kole brings out his POG collection, and invites Gary to pull one out. He pulls one out with a smiley face on it. Gary's killphrase is "Donkeylips". Gary continues to pull out smiley faces, and Googling "smiley face game" gives them Faceball 2000.

Kole: Might as fucking well.
Gary: Might as fucking well.


This game might as well be a tech demo, it is such a non-game. Gary has to vamp a bit to fill time while Kole looks up the recommender for the episode. Holland was also the guy who came through and got Gary in touch with a company to make POGs for Souls of Darkness. While the game is bad, Gary and Kole aren't too mad because it is technically impressive. Kole remembers this game from bargain bins, Gary remembers it because of game magazines, and reading about the multiplayer elements in the Game Boy version. They briefly describe the gameplay, it is a really primitive first person shooter. It was originally called Midi Maze and was a game on Atari computers in the late 80s. The graphics looked like placeholder images.

The classic yellow smiley face makes Gary angry, because he associates it with carnival art, Juggalo shirts, etc. Kole associates it with poor kid folders in school and the 90s hippie revival. Sonic the Hedgehog is Lisa Frank for boys. Gary wants to fuck Betty Crocker and Mrs. Butterworth, whom he calls "Mrs. Buttstuffworth". Kole thinks Ecco the Dolphin should be the male Lisa Frank if he was more popular, Gary disagrees because Ecco is gender-neutral. They talk about the 90s hippie revival, and 90s aesthetics. Kole's niece loves the show Friends because Kole's family is all weird and unstuck in time. Friends looks more alien than something from the 70s or 80s because the 90s were hideous. Gary talks about an old review for it, and goes into talking about learning that Sandy Peterson did game reviews.

Neither of them played much of Faceball 2000, because they didn't really need to. They talk about the myriad problems with the game for a few minutes. A gaming convention in the 80s had a 3-day Midi Maze tournament. Gary talks about midi cables. Not much on GameFAQs. There are a surprising number of different bots in Faceball 2000. Xanth Software F/X has done very few games. The game is technically impressive, but doesn't hold up. Next week they are talking about Nightmare Creatures.


Gary: Who is Facedog?
Kole: Shut up Dogface.

Other bad games referenced

Donkey Kong Country
Nightmare Creatures

Inside Jokes

Kole is Unstuck in Time - Kole's entire family loves media from before they were born.
Zoodog - The signoff is a combination of "who is Zoodog" with a Simpsons reference.

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