Mike Tyson's Intergalactic Power Punch

Created by Beam Software, played on NES

Abject Suffering Episode 4 (2/21/2013)

Recommended by Travis Newman

Randomization

Kole tells Gary about a dream, and awakens to find an egg. Kole opens the egg to find a slip of paper with the game's title written on it.

Gary: MUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAUGH!
Kole: That wasn't even a word. Are those getting too intricate, or should I…?
Gary: No, no. It'd be great, I mean eventually we could keep getting more and more intricate, where it's twenty minutes of this short story, and then at the end it's like "we didn't fucking play Wizardry".

Summary

Gary explains the show, and how this game was never officially released. Gary implies that Kole has a Google alert about "Tyson". Kole expresses an interest in a game about chicken boxing, the two talk about dog boxing. They tell Travis to go fuck himself. Kole tells the story of the person who found the cartridge and how it was ROM dumped, and the two talk about the whole unreleased/prototype game scene. Gary mentions he did another Beam Software game on his Youtube channel. They discuss the game's creation and Tyson's legal problems. Gary and Kole find it strange that there is a game where you play as a rapist, Gary brings up Custer's Revenge (which he incorrectly calls Custer's Last Stand).

Gary thinks all professional athletes are monsters. Kole agrees. Oscar Pistorius is brought up again during this digression, along with Babe Ruth and Ty Cobb (who is compared to the Joker). Babe Ruth is compared to JFK, whom they allege he "cheated with". Kole backs off from his rant, after expressing the opinion that sports are responsible for a lot of evil in the world, and that anyone who pays to listen to a video game podcast probably agrees. They clarify that Babe Ruth and JFK's womanizing is not as bad as murder.

Kole begins to summarize the game, but instead reads a summary of Space Jam. Gary talks about how this game is "Dark Space Jam". Kole expresses a want to talk about Bill Murray. They discuss the first boxer in the game. Intergalactic Power Punch is unfavorably compared to the original Punch Out. The first enemy is Borg, who loves to "turn tricks". Gary and Kole discuss how someone can turn tricks while boxing, and fellatio's place in society. Borg's backstory is speculated upon. The confusing game mechanics are discussed more. They discuss the judges in the game and they come to the conclusion that they are Rob Reiner, Don King, Geordie LaForge, and Miss Yvonne. Kole is happy to hear that they both had a lot of difficulty playing the game. The training ship is discussed, which Gary compares to the Alice Munro novel Hateship, Friendship, Courtship, Loveship, Marriage. Kole talks of his affinity for training sequences in sports games. In particular, they mention how the training sequences make a bunch of annoying sounds if you choose to skip them.

Gary brings up the game's ring girl, which he describes as a seventh-stage Innsmouth Bride. Kole is more generous and says she looks like a Futurama character. Kole praises the fun alien designs of the game, Gary agrees. The game is unfavorably compared to Punch Out, yet again. Gary mentions that the game was released as Power Punch 2, without Mike Tyson. Gary describes the game over screen containing a newsie with a disgusting mouth, and it's place in the game's universe is speculated. Kole compares the game to Rocky IV and V, as well as Invasion of the Body Snatchers, as if the alien invasion is an allegory for the cold war. During this Kole refers to Gary as Kris at least once, then quotes a song from Rocky IV.

The second enemy, Nodden Winker, is discussed. Neither host could beat him. Kole describes him as "if Worf bred with a Tonberry". The scale of characters in this game and in the original Punch Out are discussed. Gary insists that he is bigger than every Russian.

Gary talks about the GameFAQ for the game, and it's author Daniel T, who dedicates his FAQ to his dead great aunt Helene. Both hosts find this very inappropriate and funny. Gary cannot think of a less fitting tribute to a dead person, and both come up with terrible GameFAQs-related tributes for when they die. With the help of the FAQ, Gary reads the names of later enemies, and Daniel's supposition of who the four audience members are. The editorial portions of the FAQ are mocked further. Gary and Kole reiterate their love of the original Punch Out. Travis is told to go fuck himself, and to get a concussion from being punched by Mike Tyson. The next episode is stated, to a reception of fart noises and mockery of it's clumsy name.

Signoff

Gary: Good night, good luck.

Other bad games referenced

True Lies
Back to the Future
Custer's Revenge
Too Human
Friday the 13th
Mickey Mousecapades
J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings Volume 1

Inside Jokes

Eggs - Kole receives the assignment of this episode from inside an egg.
Dark Souls - This game is "Dark Space Jam", reached by "shooting Gwyevere in Space Jam", a reference to a secret level in Dark Souls.
Kole's Childhood - Kole talks about several sports games he enjoyed as a child.
Steven Tyler - Gary describes the game over screen newsie's disgusting mouth as "Tyleresque".
GameFAQs - The FAQ of this game is discussed.
Daniel T - The author of the Power Punch 2 FAQ dedicated to his great aunt Helene is first mentioned in this episode.

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