Pac Man 2

Created by Namco, played on SNES

Abject Suffering Episode 11 (5/31/2013)

Recommended by James Robinson

Randomization

Gary clarifies Kole's last name. Kole has asked him to come to the electomagnetic observatory. Gary brought a camera to take pictures for George Takei. Kole explains how the cosmos can be used to generate random numbers, then trails off and explains that he smoked a lot of pot on the way here. Gary asks Kole if he wants to party with Moon, his dealer/the guy who sold him his tarot deck from the last episode. After some R.E.M. references, the cosmic noise tells them to play Pac Man 2.

Gary, singing and playing the keyboard:

Fuck fuck fuck fuck
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
The game is Pac Man
I'm not kiddin' man, that fuckin' sucks (Kole: fuckin' sucks)
Not Pac Man 1, but Pac Man 2 (Kole:no, no, no)
Not kiddin' you (Kole: It's Pac Man, yeah)
Fuck fuck
Fuck fuck Pac Man
(Kole: It's Pac Man 2)
Fuck fuck
(Kole: Fuck this shit)
Pac Man *slams keys*

Kole: I hope I didn't fuck your shit. I was trying to harmonize.
Gary: No, that's okay, I was just fucking around, there's no harmonizing involved.

Summary

Gary introduces the program, as opposed to the program you are listening to it on, or a pogrom. They say racist things and joke about editing. They describe Pac Man 2 as a timed adventure game, and one of the weirder games they've ever played. The game has the appropriate care and level of detail of a Namco game. A need to understand Pac Man's home life is questioned. Ms. Pac Man, and the gender politics in Pac Man are discussed. Kole brings up semiotics to Gary's chagrin. Pac Land is discussed, which includes Pac Man wearing a fedora because he is clearly a Reddit MRA. Pac Man fever is mentioned, and how Pac Man 2 is way after that era, although it is still in the prime popularity of adventure games. They love the cover of the game, which is Pac Man on a hang glider screaming. Gary and Kole attempt to describe this game, which is an adventure game that controls like a light gun game where you don't directly control Pac Man. Pac Man has a mood or anxiety disorder, which made the game infuriating to play. Hot dogs come up, so Gary mentions semiotics again. Gary calls the power pellet a "get out of getting fucked card", Kole makes a joke he is not proud of. Gary suggests you go to Pac Man's apartment and discreetly hide the rope and medication.

The animation in this game is praised, in particular how much Gary thinks Ms. Pac Man wants him to finger her. Gary and Kole spend a while discussing how Gary just stated the phrase "I'm gonna go finger Ms. Pac Man", including putting it on a chip in a greeting card and sending it to the president of Namco or using it as a ringtone. Gary does not like baby Pac Man. They discuss the adventure game elements of Pac Man 2. Pac Man 2 is compared to Lifeline, Hey You Pikachu! or Seaman. Gary describes Ms. Pac Man's "weird shriveled mono-tit" and her "pan-organ under her jaundiced fleshy outcovering". He goes on to describe a puzzle where Pac Man has to get milk, because Pac Man is a true Portlander and a raw milk enthusiast. Kole and Gary had a lot of trouble playing this game, which controls obtuse adventure game puzzles with nonintuitive controls. Gary describes a scene where Pac Man sneaks by a dog by thinking about apples, a slot machine comes up with apples, the dog looks at the apples then turns around and goes to sleep. Kole describes the entire game as completely inscrutable. They hosts still say the game is still pretty cool and ambitious.

Kole talks about some experiments with Pac Man, such as Baby Pac Man Pinball. They laud Namco for at least trying interesting things. They consider this game a redemption because it's at least inspired. They talk about a scene where Pac Man has to look down to avoid a skateboard, and make a joke comparing it to a scene from the "Cape Feare" episode of the Simpsons. Gary starts reading taglines of GameFAQs reviews, and talks about how this game definitely has its fans. Kole imagines that Pac Men have shark skin. Gary recommends you check this game out. They discuss the four player Pac Man, and the Pac Man Championship Edition, which are both very good. Gary and Kole agree that Pac Man is generally good, and are confused why anyone would care about Pac Man lore. They want an iOS port of Pac Man 2. Kole is worried they aren't as funny when they like stuff.

They tell James Robinson to go fun himself.

Signoff

Kole: Praise the milk.
Gary: We'll be Pac next week.

Stinger

The clip of Gary saying "I'm gonna go finger Ms. Pac Man" is played repeatedly for several seconds.

Other bad games referenced

Pac Land
Dizzy
Night Trap
Lifeline
Shaq Fu
Home Improvement
Jurassic Park
Where's Waldo

Inside Jokes

GameFAQs - GameFAQs reviews are discussed.
Dark Souls - Kole praises the milk.

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